Let your light shine
WOW has life changed pretty drastically in the last several months for most of the world. In particular, my life has shifted in many ways prior to the pandemic. The shut down of the universe not only effected my business and livelyhood, it devastated my creative drive. I hid out in the desert for weeks since it was the only place I could cheaply find solitude. I struggled to fulfill orders and found it asinine to push my gems onto broke, unemployed internet browsers stuck on their couches with double technology of Netflix blaring in the background. I stashed my difficulties away and continued in a private and isolated manner. I’m good at isolating. A pro really. It’s my defense mechanism and I’m so ok in solitude. I sought it for so long, so now that I have it on the daily, it is sometimes difficult to give up. Maybe I am an extrovert turned introvert with time, like evolution? Anyways, it’s where I recharge and find center. I no longer allow too much deviation from center. I had been off center for many years in a very toxic relationship. I have found that once I totally removed that toxic piece from my life, it has allowed so much light (back) in. A twisty, magical journey where I have met the most amazing, gifted people who bring me light. They don’t take it, they give. and give. like me. sometimes it’s hard to take without giving. I’m not very good at it. I always feel like I need to give. a people pleaser. a pleasure pusher. a giver. a helper. a get-taken-advantage-of-person. too far from center. I’m re-learning where my center is. I’ve found that some think I should live a specific way or think a certain line of thinking. Maybe even express myself in a different way. and in the last several months I have lost people that have been in my life for many years for whatever reason. me being me. me expressing me. me sharing me…in the way I want to…well hot damn babe…you just make room for the new. Room for the light to shine in. instead of sucking the light, I am repaired with light. if I told you some of the characters I have met in the psst 6 months, you wold think I was full of balogne. Fred the swinger from Maine that I met naked in a hot springs tub in Arizona. Anderson and his 25 yr old DS son that live in an RV and travel the US. Bae from Davenport who restored my spirit and Phil found his best friend. Bessie in Bend where we exchanged solo female, dog owning, travelling artist stories. Moses and his beautiful wife who have offered me space in the woods to stay centered in the light.
The list goes on and on and I’m sure it will continue. Although there is a pandemic outside the window, here, there is so much room for change within. To find the light. What drives it. What brings it. What sucks it. What replenishes it. How to give it away safely. How to recognise those who come to steal it. sad and true, although the wisdom to acknowledge it is paramount.
In this time of darkness, strive for the light. your center. release the toxic. let the new in. and you may just be pleasantly surprised how magnificent life can really get.