As I age (whether gracefully or not is the question), I become more intimate with ideas that had remained estranged until recently. It's embarrassing, yet the cycle of life, to admit your parents were right. It seems as though each year gets shorter and faster. Time flies and has no rest for the weary (or the lazy). While I engaged fully in my current life, I reflect on what brought me to this beautiful, amazing place.  How did I get here?  How did I overcome all those adversities to reach THIS life? How was I able to create a life(style) where I pinch myself to see if it's real? Is this real? How come it just keeps getting better? I soak up every ounce of appreciation knowing that one day it may all disappear as quickly as it arrived. I bask in the light that draws me close, feeds me, and allows my soul to be on fire while free. I no longer check over my shoulder. I stopped hiding my words. I refuse to inhibit myself. I no longer have that twinge in my belly that I may get in trouble for something. I let go that maybe I didn't do it right. I high tailed it away from feeling inferior or less than because of my credentials. I don't have to wait until 'someone feels like paying me' My existence is no longer based on the materialistic service to others. AND I DON'T HAVE TO KISS ANYONE'S ASS!

I get to be ME. 100% ME. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. Whether good or bad, makeup or not, maybe combed hair, stinky, tired, and even cranky-I get to be me. I really had no idea how liberating it really is. I also realized it can be very lonely-especially if you don't really like yourself. Fortunately for me, I freekin love myself, so there's no better company throughout the day (except for our crazy dog Phillip but that's another journal) Yes, I struggle with those days of loserville and pity party just like everyone else but what has allowed ME to live like THIS? 


Let me say it again, just in case you missed it.


Now, I'm not talkin' about a sweet southern dish or something your grandmother serves selflessly for breakfast. I'm speaking of that sensation in your toes or teeth that just grinds on ya and you can't get away from.  That feeling of leftover sand in the bed after a great beach party. I'm talking about dirt in between your toes that follows your sock into your shoe. The perseverance of continuing to finish even when it's not fun. The lack of mercy when it comes to accomplishing goals. The heart that it takes to shove all pain and discomfort aside to get where you want to go. What keeps you going wen you just don't want to.

I am a reader and many of the ideas I adopt come from my library. I recently have been reading a book by Mark Manson and he describes grit in his book. Not necessarily by name but by action. He delivers a new concept (to me) that pain and struggle are necessary.  These attributes form the core of grit.  They develop the human mind and body to create tolerance. Once tolerance is embraced, pain becomes a guiding principle towards happiness. It molds, directs, intersects, diminishes, and intensifies experience. Happiness is the direct result of pain. Without grit, we would not survive pain. Without pain, we would not know happiness. 

When I try to avoid the uncomfortable aspects of life, I now look at it in a different way. First, I know the situation is temporary. Secondly, there is a reason why the situation is difficult. Lastly, I am building character traits that will assist me in some other aspect of my life. 

I got here because of my grit.

Marissa Walker